Sometimes when you see nothing, you see everything.

I see nothing. Still.

To love and to be loved

This is crazy.

Just when I thought he has been "the one who got away".

It's all coming back to me now.

He's the answer to my question. He has always been.

BUT I have obligations; sister (who has been the greatest influential person in my life) encourages me to settle down or at least date a foreigner (non-Malaysian to be precise)---this has been planted in my system since forever and I breathe everyday with that strong thought and desire. Best friend on the other hand, just hates him---just because of what he has done to me in the past.

The past; which I have successfully erased that part of him from my memories.

Now that he's back in my life---I don't want anything else but him.

Me wanting him---that's just against every thing in my system. Now and then.

Sigh. Obligations.

I've been taking my baby steps towards getting a non-Malaysian boyfriend and I was almost there. Almost. (I'm officially superficial at this line).

Until he decided to pop back into my life again. Unannounced. And the feelings are still the same. Amazing.

Is this love?

I don't know.

If it is, then why does it choose to appear at the very wrong time? Why did he even choose to come back into my life again at this time after all the years of being fully disconnected from each other?

Letting things to go with the flow is an option BUT there's also a saying that goes like; what flows in easily will flow out easily too---sigh.

I think too much. I'm too careful.

I just want to love and to be loved already.

Narsh.