Saturday, April 25, 2009

Sunday blues

It's Sunday--and so thought I could sleep in more than I had yesterday, but somehow I was woken up by this loud cheers came from outside my apartment. Took a glance from my bedroom window and the cheers came from this primary school just behind the apartment--the kids were having their Sports Day...aaaaawww how cute, I thought. Well I was never really an athletic person (I was active in school but I mainly did sports games and nothing solo), but I was always into this kinda school events--always had something to do for the Sports Day--be it in the marching team, the pom-pom team, or even in the Red Cross on duty--I was always there. So when I saw these kids were cheering for their teams, I felt somewhat like I'm a kid again--a small girl who was carefree--a small girl who jumped and skipped around in the school field worry-free. Sigh. I miss those state of mind.

Yea I am still demotivated at this moment.


Someone please kick my back (no, not in that way)--just wake me up already!

Thursday, April 23, 2009

The need for a change is back in town again

I'm officially at the brink of leaving my job again. I love my job--undoubtedly. I love the people that I'm working with but I guess that no longer inspire me. I want more. Urgh. I hate this phase--although I knew somehow that I will get here some day since this is not the first time I'm having the urge to move on--it's somewhat seasonal. My drive for a change is driving me nuts. I can't imagine how is the place which I used to call my second home before has becoming more and more mundane to me? Trust me, I've done all I could to spice things up again but it somehow just couldn't work anymore. Sigh. I don't know.

Can I just move on already?

Sunday, April 12, 2009

My life is like a circus and I am the juggler

Life around me has been like a busy circus-work's getting unusually demotivating, issues at the home front, house mate is moving out, old flame's asking for another shot but I'm crazy about someone who's thousand miles away although we've only met twice...sigh. I'm overwhelmed. Sometimes I wonder where do I get the strength to carry on from. Perhaps it's true what most people say today-we're getting desperate during this economic downturn. Nothing we do today seems right. Everything will or eventually lead to a disaster-well maybe disaster is a strong word-perhaps conflict is more appropriate. I don't know. I hate confrontation, I don't want to choose, I don't want to decide-I'm just wishing for everything to turn out well (although somehow in the midst of all this drama, that wish is just so beyond reach).

Oh well. Keep me sane already.