It is done.

It took six sheets of paper printed out before I could get it right. Yea, my resignation letter. Guess I just wanted to make sure that the letter was professionally written---and not emotionally.

Ah well.

Signed. Sealed. And to be delivered by tomorrow.

10 things

The list of things that somehow or rather affected my life as of late:

1. MJ died :'(
2. Spent my last Friday night with Mr. I and he's now back to his work and alot of travelling again (yea like alot). To date, I still don't know where we stand.
3. I'm over that someone. Like really over him. I mean why would I be bothered to cling to someone who's attached (who's stuck in a LDR to be specific) and simultaneously (and consistently) treated me like his emotional cushion? So yea, I'm over it. Go nurse your I-just-want-to-be-comforted-when-my-girlfriend-is-not-around-sad-ass somewhere else.
4. I'm back to my just-me state. Alone, but I'm somewhat relieved.
5. Made friend with my ex again (in KK, of all places). Crossing my fingers tightly so I'd get my iPhones soon *winks*
6. I'm working on a music project with a good girlfriend of mine. July 31. Can't wait ;)
7. It's going to be my last month with Crush.
8. And I'm working on my last assignment here *mixedfeelings*
9. I can't wait for Mr. A to come to KL in July.
10. Actually, both Mr. I and Mr. A are coming down to KL in July *gasps*

Yea, that's pretty much summed it all.

Me singing, ~~so, so what, I'm still a rockstar!

This too will pass

Groggy, grumpy, woozy, sluggish, dazed.

And all of the above.

I'm sleepy. At work and sleepy. Yea, what's new. It's been like this since...three months ago? Can't recall. I still have one assignment to complete before I can really bid adios to this current agency that I'm attached with. Honestly, I can't wait to leave. But I'm not really the half-way type of person. I've already step my foot in the project from the beginning, and so I shall complete the course. Yea, I take commitments and responsibilities seriously. But that aside, I am desperately ready to leave---okay let's not even go there.

Hmmm I'm still sleepy.

And no, it has nothing to do with you---it's just me. Fickle.

Home not-so-sweet home???

Three more days to go and I'll be back to life again---to the reality to be more precisely. It's not that I'm counting the days before I leave KK, it's just that I really feel I can't stay too long in KK anymore. Sad. I used to love this place so much. But a lot of things have changed around here. The town is getting congested everyday (for no reason. Or I suppose they really need to build more parking spaces around town so it won't be too crowded with cars), the people are getting slower and slower everyday (generally---and it has always been like this as far as I could recall, but it's just getting from bad to worst) and the quality of services around here remain status quo (e.g. I was at one of this famous "suppose to be" five star resort to meet a friend today, and while I was walking to the main lobby, I was being orally harrased by the maintanance people while they were working---that just turned me off like big time!). Talk about lack of work etiquette. Narsh.

So yea, but I can only grunt and complain. It takes a whole lot more than just bitching to fix things around here. But yea, do they care? No.

It's annoying. Sad and annoying. Sigh.

Him---And it'll always be him.

He regretted.

He compares me with his new girlfriend every second---"Clarissa will never do this, Clarissa has never done that, etc."

He has not moved on moved on after all.

He wants me to be happy.

He realized he was treating me wrong the last time.

And most of all, after being with someone else but not me, he realized no one could love him better than I do.

He sighs every second now.

He's definitely not happy.

He has changed.

He's not that jolliest person I've ever known before.

He's just so different now.

He thinks before he utter any word to me.

He thinks before he reacts to the things that I say.

He notices me.

He completes me---or maybe used to.

He's my ex-boyfriend---today.

And I'm overwhelmed.

*He: Someone whom I so thought I was going to say "I do" to. And so I thought.

C: What do you think would happen if we didn't break things up last year?
J: *Clears throat* We'll be married by now.

So what's this with men and their a-little-too-late act?

I am still overwhelmed.

When one door closes, there's always the back door

Or maybe the chimney---too bad our houses are all chimney-less though.

So I got the job (just can't stop smiling from one ear to the other now). Let's see how the detailed offer would be. Will get back on this one---soonest.

Meanwhile, I'm in love. So what if we're not meant to be with each other---I'd still love him. And I'm not expecting anything out of it. I'm just loving this feeling---and am embracing it tightly.

He makes me feel like dancing. It's euphoric.

Guess the push-and-pull state is not a bad thing after all.

Ah it's that issue about work again!

I was once a very motivated employee in the agency. Asked any question, I would be able to answer them or at least will do my own private research until I found the answer. I picked things up very fast and I radiated positive energy to every one around me---including the tea lady. Multi-tasking was never really an issue to me and I'd drive around to meet Clients everyday or even just to do any errand although it's not mine to worry about. The people at work were like family to me. I was happy.

That was then.

Now, I'm just one of the furniture in the office---whether or not I'm an attractive one, that is not for me to judge (well do I sound like I care now?). I spend my work hours on the Net---making sure my Facebook profile is updated every minute, I Twit randomly every second and heck, I blog. These are the kinda things which I have refrained myself from doing when I was motivated at work. But that is no longer the case here.

I love my job. I still do. But nothing inspires me anymore. I see people left the agency---and perhaps most of them are those who used to drive me; inspired me. I thought I could pass on their passion to my juniors---or so I thought. I was a well-trained blind, who tried to lead the blinds without any proper (or professional) guidance. Sigh. Yea maybe I didn't try enough. But hey, I just don't see the point of trying anymore. I mean like, who cares about things around here? Bitching about own team mates are far more important and "exciting" things to do than doing something worthwhile---like actually, work.

Yea somehow the newbies have inculcated the "bitching" culture in the office. Everyone bitches here---the Finance peeps bitch about the Managers, the Managers bitch about the Executives, the Executives bitch about the Creative team, heck everyone bitches about the GM! Now, I'm not claiming that I'm a Saint---I do bitch. Like alot. But I don't bitch about my colleagues with the Clients. That's like a big NO-NO. But yea, it happens here. And the sucky part about it? Everyone seems to be okay with it. It's supposed to be part of the "PR" initiatives---And so they say. I majored in Public Relations before, and I've never learnt that bitching-about-your -colleagues-to-the-Clients will help in the growth of the agency. Or maybe it's just one of the subjects that you'd learn outside the classroom.

Or maybe you're not suppose to do that. Ethically.

Dangs.

Yea I'm helpless. I need a fresh environment. Like a good friend used to tell me "If you don't like where you are, move along. You're not a tree." Hence, that's exactly I'm going to do if not sooner, the soonest.

I can't stand spending most of my hours of the day with people who bitches 24/7.

I'm not inspired by the "talk-too-much-but-never-do-anything-about-things" management.

My somewhat comfort and happy zone has been violated.

I just want to leave already.

Hang on, I AM already leaving...