Numb

Half of my day went well today until I saw a text from a good friend of mine. His mom (who has been sick on and off as of late), just got admitted in the hospital again today. If months ago it was because of her eyes, today, she had a sudden seizure, of which she was only suppose to go for a normal check up. She woke up without recognizing my friend-her own son. Sigh. I got numb for a moment after reading the text. I don't think I would know what to do if I were to be in my friend's shoes. I called up my dad straight away and just kept quiet after saying "hello". Something is up, my dad must thought. He started a conversation immediately. He knew. He cracked a joke and made me laugh, naturally. And so I told him what had happened. His tone changed. I heard the voices of my nephews of 9 and 11 and niece of 5 years old at the background. Their voices somehow diverted the mood of our conversation. And this time, I tried to change the topic by asking how everyone is doing back home. "They're all fine" my dad said. Awkward silence. My dad asked about my friend's mom again. And so we talked it through. "There's nothing we can do. Just be strong for your friend," my dad said. With that, I wanted so much to be home now. To be with my family. To feel secure. But my dad was right. I have to be strong. Not just for my friend. But for myself too. Sooner or later, we will lose the people that we love regardless. Nothing stays permanently on earth. Until the time comes, we just have to be prepared. Anticipate for the worst to happen-so the pain will be easier to endure.

I'm aware of this.

Very much.

But for now, I just want to stay numb.

*All my prayers to my friend's mom and family*